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Living in Interesting Times

Brock at 50
The last several weeks have been "interesting," in the same sense that the word "interesting" is used in the ancient Chinese curse most often translated as "May you live in interesting times."

Briefly, I had a physical exam at the end of March, which included the usual blood samples and such.  There was an anomaly on the blood tests:  an elevated white cell count.  My new primary care physician here in Huntsville was almost apologizing that he found it necessary to refer me to an oncologist as a result of our first meeting, but I assured him that I'd much rather know things than not know.  Now, three weeks later, we have a definitive diagnosis.

I have Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.  It's sometimes referred to as "old peoples' leukemia," and my oncologist tells me that at this point it is far more likely that something else will cause my death, many years from now, than that the leukemia will kill me.  We know it is of relatively recent onset, but we do not yet know how fast the disease is progressing.  So I go back to the clinic in a month's time for more blood tests to check progress.

There are some positive notes:  after a rather thorough CT scan there is no significant involvement of my lymph nodes or spleen.  My white cell count did not change significantly over the last two weeks time.  The genetic fluorescence assay indicates that I have only two of the mutations commonly seen in CLL, and one of those correlates with long survival times.  I do not have the mutation on chromosome 17 that can make this condition into a dangerous, fulminating one.

CLL in many cases is a condition that is monitored, but not treated.  When treatment is required, in most cases it is oral chemotherapy that lacks the pernicious side effects we commonly associate with the chemotherapies used for more acute cancers.  So at this point I have every expectation of going on for a good many more years.

At present, I am told that all I need do is live my normal life, but that I do need to start being a little more careful about the possibility of infections, since a major part of my immune system is now compromised to some degree.

As I said, it's been an interesting time.

I'm not upset about having my mortality rubbed in my face.  No, I got over that long, long ago, after a chilly January morning in 1979 when a parachute jump went bad.  I even got to meet the Morrighan that morning, (which was years before I consciously became pagan and realized just Who it was that had been laughing that horrible braying laugh in the back of my head that day.)  These days, I figure that every day is a gift.  There's even a trite bit of doggerel about that in the animated film, Kung-Fu Panda:

"Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift:
That's why they call it The Present !"

So tomorrow morning I'm going to get up and open up my present and see what it's like.  And the day after that, I'm going to do it again.  And again, and again.  And I expect to keep doing it for a good long while yet.

Now, the rest of you, go off and do something fun.  And no moping, dammit! 





Comments

( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
tryst_inn
Apr. 21st, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
Massive *zen hugs* from someone who is also living in interesting times.





mageoflamancha
Apr. 21st, 2011 03:52 am (UTC)
Good to see you online again- I had figured the move was eating up your time. With all the rest of the interesting stuff, good news that all the bright signs are there. Best with the rest.
merrymoll
Apr. 21st, 2011 08:26 am (UTC)
I won't mope, big man, but I do wish you all the best. *hugs*

*from Moll, who lurks on the dotPagansnark comm*
beltainelady
Apr. 21st, 2011 01:19 pm (UTC)
Wow...talk about a surprise. Not in a good way.

I wish you many years of health and happiness. Emphasis on the health. You don't normally think silver linings with cancer, but I'll take what I can get.
brock_tn
Apr. 21st, 2011 03:21 pm (UTC)
My situation is what it is. I just need to figure out how to make the best of it.
arielmn
Apr. 21st, 2011 01:48 pm (UTC)
Also wishing you years of good health.

My cousin was diagnosed with this in his mid-30s. Due to his younger age at time of diagnosis, the military docs were able to connect it to chemical exposure during his service years. He was at Nellis AFB. Don't know if you have similar exposure, but you may want to check it out...

Best wishes.
brock_tn
Apr. 21st, 2011 03:32 pm (UTC)
I'll look into it. But I worked in chemical plants off and on for years after I left active duty. And my age at diagnosis is within one standard deviation of the average age of diagnosis. So I'd be willing to bet this isn't something service-related.
saoba
Apr. 21st, 2011 04:12 pm (UTC)
Alright, I won't mope. Much.

And today's festivities at Norwescon shall be undertaken with an eye toward Maximum Fun, because you asked.

Mike sends his love along with mine.
brock_tn
Apr. 21st, 2011 07:27 pm (UTC)
Sorry, but this is a no moping zone. Not even if the would-be mopers are people who love me and whom I love in return.

My doctors assure me that this is no more a death sentence than is breathing. I expect to around for quite some time yet.

Enjoy the con. Wish we could be there to enjoy it too, but we're a might preoccupied with moving and all that.
juliaki
Apr. 21st, 2011 06:08 pm (UTC)
Although it is never positive to hear about health challenges, out of the myriad things that could have popped up, at least this one isn't horribly likely to cramp your style. Although...hmm. Could you turn this to your advantage by telling every bit of stupid that you run into that because you have CLL, the doc has said you need to avoid things that are contagious, and since stupid seems to be catching, you can't be in the presence of stupid people anymore? :)
brock_tn
Apr. 21st, 2011 06:58 pm (UTC)
I'd really like that. Unfortunately, stupid seems to be our only truly inexhaustible resource. So avoiding it completely seems unlikely. But it's a nice thought, nonetheless.
doom_diva
Apr. 21st, 2011 06:16 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear this news. :( But I will say I applaud you all the same for being positive. I've had quite a few close brushes in accident form that have changed me each time, and while I didn't see it at those times, I see each incident as for the better.
brock_tn
Apr. 21st, 2011 07:08 pm (UTC)
I'm not certain that I can really see this as changing my life for the better. But the situation is what it is, and it could be a lot worse. And while I really can't control this, I certainly can control how I react to all this. I'd rather be joyful than miserable, would rather be happy than sad. So those are the choices I'll make.

Heck, after giving the same sort of counsel to my students for lo these many years I'd be pretty foolish not to follow my own advice.
doom_diva
Apr. 21st, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
I wasn't trying to be less than sympathetic in any way, just that I admire the way you're taking such news.
pkmorrison
Apr. 21st, 2011 06:46 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear this as well. No moping, but good thoughts...
brock_tn
Apr. 21st, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
Good thoughts are always gratefully received. Thank you.
thtrelady
Apr. 21st, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC)
Well Bah Humbug. But it sounds like you have more than a grip on this so I'll just send *hugs* to you and Lark.
sunfell
Apr. 22nd, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
Well, that sucks.

But remember, nature abhors vacuums, and prefers brooms.

I wish you all the best. Sobering to get your mortality reminder in that way.

Wish the damn VA would get back with me.

My blood tests have been showing elevated white counts for years. My doctor doesn't seem to think it's a big deal- it's apparently my 'normal'. I might poke him about that now...

Edited at 2011-04-22 01:51 am (UTC)
susanlawton
Apr. 22nd, 2011 04:37 am (UTC)
Sending you many good wishes for a long life...
eyverska
Apr. 22nd, 2011 03:39 pm (UTC)
I leave the moping to Tomo and will send you many happy thoughts to make the Presents better.
May your move be easier than anyone expects.
vicki_sine
Apr. 23rd, 2011 03:09 pm (UTC)
Conciously I know bad things happen to good people and it just is, life does not have to be fair and all of that.

But I am deeply sorry to hear you have this new thing to deal with. Very glad you are taking a positive approach, and you are absolutely correct that we do get to chose our state of mind.

For today I will smile that we are on top of the ground to have this conversation.
northlighthero
Apr. 24th, 2011 06:14 pm (UTC)
Glad to see your pixels on my screen ... and to know that you folks are finally getting to move into that gorgeous house. May you enjoy many happy, comfortable, fulfilling years with your chronic LL on its best behavior.

And sending plenty of love, light and laughter to both of you
pierceheart
May. 23rd, 2011 04:31 pm (UTC)
Too late to the party - moping.

Glad to hear it's not awful and I'll throw out this anecdotal piece of info - my father, who just turned 80, and had colon cancer surgery and chemo in the last nine months, picked up my girlfriend who was falling down from vertigo, and steadied her on her feet.
brock_tn
Jun. 22nd, 2011 02:53 pm (UTC)
I've said for years (with tongue firmly in cheek,) that if I could choose the way I would die I would prefer to expire from a massive heart attack, while being chased across some large public space by an enraged husband. Your father's story gives me hope.
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )